Burn the pages, but you can’t erase it

I was ready to share my story of heartbreak and trauma, but today, something changed.  I have spent so many seconds, minutes, hours, in tears or staring at the ceiling wondering what the hell is wrong with me.  What is wrong with me?  I am wasting valuable time of my life depressed and upset over something that isn’t worth any of my energy to begin with.

Today, I am choosing to not let what happened this year, define me.  I am choosing to not let it ruin me.  I am choosing to not let it affect any more of my time.  You see, I was reminded today that time is valuable and we don’t have much of it. For me to spend so much of my time unhappy, it seems silly when I am capable of so much more.  Lord knows I am worth wayyy more. I’m too pretty for this 😂

This blog was going to be my story, which in turn, is actually his story, because I am letting him take more energy from me.  Time really is precious and I do not want to spend another second feeling like this.  Instead, I am going to share the things that helped me survive.  From music, to the gym, to journaling, to Formula 1 racing (don’t judge), I have actually kept myself very busy.  Slip ups are normal, especially this time of the year.  I find myself wishing I had somebody to share the holidays with and maybe that’s why lately I am so down.  It is time to start fresh, because in 2 weeks, we are one quarter into the century.

We are still going to have some turbulence folks, don’t worry.  This past year though, and the memories in it, I might not be able to erase it, but I can definitely burn the pages.


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